For about half the US population right now, the news is difficult to watch and yet it is hard to tear away from. This is because many of us are so used to being plugged in and also because we worry about what might happen if we “stuck our heads in the sand”, knowing that just ignoring the worrisome things is not the answer. The solution does not have to be one or the other, it can be a little bit of both.
It is still possible to stay aware while also tuning out most of the newsfeed right now. Yes, as I write this I am aware Donald Trump is currently announcing various campaign cabinet selections, much to the concern of many people. While this is something that has actually happened, nothing bad has come of it yet. Being aware of who he will be selecting for his cabinet when he takes office in January has absolutely no benefit in the middle of November because there is nothing to do with this information at this time. Even more so, much of the other news we are seeing right now can be classified as “Perhaps News”.
What is Perhaps News?
Perhaps news are stories about things that might happen, usually related to current events in which people are uncertain of the outcome and are seeking reassurance or some other confirmation of how things will play out. We can usually spot these stories from their headlines, as they usually include the word “might”, “may”, or “opinion”. Often times it also includes the expert opinion of someone who was previously in a position of knowledge or prestige, so they will have a title such as “Ex-federal prosecutor” or “Former GOP Chairman”. Through reading the article or news story, we do not gain any new information on the current situation, but rather the perspective of someone who “should” be more knowledgeable about the situation. Sometimes the article includes some information related to the history or the context of the current situation, but it still does not provide any information that is new related to the current situation. There was a LOT of perhaps news floating around before the election, which left many people assuming Harris was guaranteed to win. While reading those news stories was reassuring, we discovered it was indeed a false reassurance. Reading perhaps news allows us to feel like we are doing something about the things we are worried about, but it just serves to take up time and provides little lasting benefit.
Much of the current news is Perhaps News
There is still more than two months before Donald Trump takes office, and regardless of anything that is said right now, there is no way of knowing what will happen on day one and what the response to it will be. Fixating on this news keeps us in a place of fear and sadness which is counter productive. Staying in an emotionally reactive place will get in the way when we do want to resist the Trump Administration attempts to change the American constitution and dismantle the federal government, if in fact that is what happens. For now, our best option is to take care of ourselves and not get caught up in detailed opinions of what might happen.
How do we take care of ourselves when it feels like the world is falling apart?
Taking care of ourselves can sound cliche and obvious, but it might take more intentional effort than you’d think. It’s a matter of multiple approaches including limiting the content we consume, taking intentional steps to limit the information that presents itself throughout our days, choosing to focus on the positive aspects of our lives, finding connection and a sense of agency, and literally taking care of ourselves.
Limiting the content and surprise info
Prior to the election, my phone screen was a near consistent flow of notifications from various news outlets, social media, podcast episodes, and reminders from health apps. To be completely honest, all that has been overwhelming and distracting for quite sometime. But it wasn’t crushing and rage inducing, it didn’t make my stomach drop or increase my heartrate like I discovered to be the case in the first few days following the election. Something had to change and by Sunday evening I began the process of figuring out how to turn off notifications for news on my phone, which email subscriptions I wanted to send to junk mail, and how to turn off the news feed on new tabs on browsers. All of these sources of “surprise information” were popping up during times when I was trying not to think about politics, including starting work, picking up my son from school, checking e-mail, etc. I also added more neutral, non political content and resumed watching some old favorite shows: Schitt’s Creek and NCIS.
Focusing on the positive aspects of life
In spite of everything that is happening politically, our lives will still continue and even in the darkest of times, humans have still found happiness in the little moments. Hanging on to this happiness is key for perseverance and continuing the good fight. While this may sound like toxic positivity, it is not because it doesn’t ignore the fact that there are still awful and concerning things happening, but rather it is a means of balancing what we are focusing on. Our kids are still growing and developing and they still need parents who are physically, mentally and emotionally present. Choosing to actively seek out happy moments can help us balance the negativity. Sometime in 2013-2014, there was a lesser known social media viral challenge called 100 Happy Days Challenge. To participate in the challenge, you take a photo every day of a genuinely happy moment and post it to social media with the hashtag 100 happy days. It’s so easy to focus on and think about the things that go wrong in our day, and this Happy Days challenge is a great way to find that balance in looking for happy moments. For more information go to 100happydays.com
Finding connection and a sense of agency
Sitting alone with negative, anxious thoughts tends to keep us in a state of fear and despair. While a lot of the country is reeling right now and is seeking to avoid “people on the other side of the aisle”, this action just keeps us feeling down and listening to our own negative thought loops. There are so many communities who are worried about how Trump Administration policies will affect them and this presents a great opportunity to connect with others and feel a sense of agency, the ability to act and make a difference, in engaging with these communities, our communities. If the concerns we have regarding eliminating funding and creating hardship for already marginalized groups comes to be, there will be a huge need for donating of time and resources to fill the gaps. Reaching out to people in your community who need support can give you hope and can help to feel less alone, same for reaching out to old friends at a distance and making more meaningful connections with the people you are already in contact with. To find opportunities for volunteering, a great resource is volunteermatch.com. In our current society, we are seeing a major divide, even though most people in our society want the same things in life and have more in common than political parties would have us believe. Finding community also involves leaning into your personal interests and engaging with other people who share that interest. A great resource for exploring your interests and finding others with the same interests is meetup.com.
Engaging in literal self care
Taking care of our basic needs may sound like an obvious no brainer, but it’s amazing how quickly hygiene and basic needs get neglected when we are going through some sort of emotional challenge. This only serves to make us feel worse emotionally. Sometimes we have to make meeting the basic needs a bit easier and cut ourselves some slack. Order take out, do the bare minimum, run the dishwasher twice, ask a friend to hang out while you do laundry, skip the extra curriculars for a week if it’s too taxing, give yourself more time to accomplish necessary tasks so you don’t feel rushed, etc. Ultimately, keep in mind that no matter what lies ahead, we need to do what we can to feel good, take care of ourselves, and find community.
Gaining a Fresh Perspective 